


Neurons and Hormones

by BonDotCom



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Other, nightmare drabble, post s2e30, so LaFontaine's Twitter tore my heart out how about you, yeah that, you remember evil willow and the hands in new places line
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 19:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4799651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BonDotCom/pseuds/BonDotCom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LaFontaine is falling apart at the thought of Perry gone. Nightmares are not anything new to them, but tonight's is more painfully specific than they're used to and Perry isn't acting like herself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Neurons and Hormones

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't been reading LaFontaine's Twitter after episode 30 of season 2, you might not get the references. Also you might be more emotionally stable than I am.

LaFontaine is running.

They aren't sure if they are running away or running toward, but they know if they stop everything would be wrong. If they stop, Perry will be gone forever.

They trip over something in the endless dark and pitch forward, throwing their hands in front of them to break their fall. Instead of hitting the ground ( _Is there ground here? Is there such a thing as up or down?_ ) they catch themself against the kitchen counter. They stand up straight and whirl around, and they’re in the mansion's kitchen exactly as it had been the last time they were here. There’s the smell of snickerdoodles in the air. There are cooling racks, cookie sheets, and half a batch of dough on the counter. 

_Like she just stepped out for a moment. Like she'll be right back any second now._

“Perry?” They call her name like a sane person at first, like maybe she’s in the next room, but it isn’t long before their skin is too tight and they’re tugging at their hair and shrieking again and again, “Perry! Perry, where are you?!”

They slam their hands down on the counter and curl in on themself, bringing their chin to their chest with a stuttering sob. “Why didn’t I stay with you?” they mutter in the empty kitchen, “Why did you leave? Where did you go?”

_Why haven’t you come back to me? I thought you loved me._

The thought strikes them like a jolt of electricity, bringing with it lucidity. This is the nightmare again. It’s taken on a different location, but it’s not a new theme by any means. They never think about _love_ that way when they’re conscious. Perry is family. They’ve both been friends their whole lives, and nothing’s going to change that. LaFontaine’s hormones are just affecting their brain, making their neurons misfire. They love Perry, but they aren’t _in love_ with Perry.

“Aren’t you?” LaFontaine’s heart jumps into their throat and they’re standing straight again at the sound of the low tone behind them. It sounded exactly like the last time they heard Perry’s voice, at the end of that video. Low and sultry, but undeniably Perry’s. It sent a chill down their spine, then and now.

They turn to face the room again, but there’s still no one there. “No.” They start to circle the island, looking around every corner and cupboard. “Not like that.”

“Really.” They see her hair out of the corner of their eye, but when they turn to face her she’s gone again. They see it again, turn again, but still no one. Of course.

“Yes, really. We aren’t…” They can’t lie to themself and say they and Perry aren’t _together_ , they’ve practically been a package deal for the last decade. Even when they aren’t speaking to each other, they still see each other every day. The longest time they’ve spent apart in the last three years was when LaFontaine was kidnapped and they don’t even remember it. “She isn’t…” They frown. _Why am I saying she and not you?_ Something to think about later. “She isn’t interested in me.”

“Have you ever asked?” Suddenly, there’s a pair of hands on their hips and they freeze.

“N-No?” They stutter out, and the hands drift up, sliding under their vest to their waist.

“Then how do you know?” Another shiver goes through them as lips ghost over the back of their neck.

“It, uh.” Words are exceedingly difficult as Perry ( ** _is_** _that Perry?_ ) brushes the tip of her nose along their neck to just behind their ear before leaving another kiss there. “It wouldn’t. It wouldn’t be.”

“Normal?” she offers, with an edge of mocking in her tone. They can only nod, struck dumb by the sensation of her breath against their ear. Not what they were going to say exactly, but the right idea. Slowly, she shifts forward to wrap her arms around their waist and press her body against their back as she continues, “Poor tightly-wound Lola, not knowing what to do with herself when something unexpected happens. Not knowing how to take advantage of a _perfect_ opportunity.”

“This is just a nightmare.” LaFontaine is reminding themself as much as they’re reminding ‘Perry.’ There’s no reason for their breathing to be so uneven or all of their nerves to be going haywire. “You’re not real.”

“Don’t you wish I was?” She purrs into their ear.

“No!” They lash out with one arm as they turn to face her, but unsurprisingly she’s gone. They can feel the residual heat from where she’d been pressed against them slowly fading, but that’s the only sign anyone had been in the room with them. They force themself to take slow, deep breaths. It’s the nightmare. Just the nightmare. “No. I wish the real Perry was here.”

“LaFontaine?” They stop breathing altogether at the change in Perry’s tone. High and tight, like she’s on the edge of another meltdown. “LaFontaine are you home?”

“Perr?!” They burst through the kitchen door and they’re running again, back in the endless darkness. 

“LaFontaine?” Her voice echoes, and they can’t tell where she is in the darkness. They aren't sure if they are running away or running toward, but they know if they stop everything would be wrong. If they stop, Perry will be gone forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 2 of [Keeping Up Appearances](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4765661/chapters/10897736) is on its way, but this was stuck in my head because I'm LaFerry trash.


End file.
